What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How do the Sola Scrptura folks react to the Dead Sea Scrolls and other more recent discoveries of ancient Biblical texts not among those canonized by Martin Luther?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

How do the youth in Taiwan perceive their national identity in relation to China?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What has been your best sexual experience?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why do flat Earthers run away like whipped dogs with their tails between their legs when asked simple questions that expose their delusions as fantasy?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How did your marriage end?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Who is the most trusted person in your life, and do they have the same trust on you?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How do scammers communicate? Do they have a specific language or slang?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do nice guys rarely or never win?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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How do you feel about Donald Trump signing an executive order that says there are only two genders?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!